Dear Thing 2, You are more self-centered than a gyroscope. Love, Velma

I am about tired of Thing 2 and his fucking attitude problem. He's driving long distance today. He calls me about an hour and a half ago...while I'm driving home from work...in the rain...and says, "I'm bored. Entertain me." I laugh. 'Cause I'm not a psycho.

However, I just called him to see how his drive is going. He answers the phone yelling at me that he's driving in the rain. Like I'm supposed to be psychic or something. And then hangs up on me before I can get through saying sorry.

Dear Thing 2,

You really are a selfish sonofabitch.

Love,
Velma

Some days I'm not sure why I don't dump them both and just start over again.